This has been a good year for finding myself headed to cities where old friends live who I have not seen in many years. This trip is to Greenville, South Carolina, where I had the opportunity to see Vince, another with whom I was stationed at Wüschheim Air Station in (what was at the time West) Germany.
Vince was one who had his head screwed on straight, even way back at age 20. Very devout Christian, very straight-laced, and what I characterized as "uptight." In that regard, little has changed, except the "uptight" part. He fell victim to the schoolboy mentality those of us employed who thought we were better than anybody we felt didn't fit. We thought he was uptight. We thought he was geeky. We poked endless fun at him, both in and out of his presence. But of all of us, he was probably more secure in his being than any of us was in our own. He refused to suffer our childish behavior and so seized every opportunity to avoid it, and was thus branded a loner.
While I was hanging out with friends, each of us trying to outdo each other in "cool," Vince was out in his car, traversing the countryside, touring Europe, visiting friends, both German and American, with every free moment he had available to him.
When Vince was in our midst, suffering our barbs and jokes, he was there not because he wanted to be, but because he had to be. He wanted not to be there not because he didn't like us, but because we didn't give him anything to like. One on one he and I got along together, but when the gang was around, I disappeared into the group mentality and was one of the voices from which he shrank. And yet he and I maintained, if not a friendship, at least a healthy acquaintanceship.
Thanks to Classmates.com (this is not a plug, just a statement of fact) these 20-odd years later, Vince and I were able to contact each other again. And, as luck would have it, my travels brought me to within a few miles of his home.
At a local restaurant we shared dinner and memories, and I amazed him with my recall of names, though I'm sure most of them were incorrect. And again I was awed to learn that I had so misjudged someone back in my youth that I now regret I didn't spend more time getting to know him. Of course, his devotion to his faith, and my lack of same would eventually have caused friction then. But I've grown much more tolerant of that sort of thing. Vince is in the middle of studies to become a minister, so he knows now that he will have his day to proselytize, and to those eager to hear him. This evening, despite the fact that I brought up the topic of the progress of his studies, and my curiosity about why he follows this path, never once did he utter the icon after which his faith is named. Was that out of respect for me?
After dinner we retired to his home where I met his lovely wife and kids, and where we shared more laughs, more names and more memories.
Where I felt remorse for "Rudy" and the life he led as a young airman, and for how much he realized he missed while under the influence of alcohol, I left Vince feeling remorse for myself, for being a stupid kid who thought I was more than I was, for thinking I was more than anybody was, and for missing an opportunity to embrace a friendship that could have shown me more about life than I already knew.
To my friend, Vince, very devout Christian, very straight-laced, but definitely not uptight.
dassall
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