Farting Musical Notes

I am not a musician. I can’t read a note of music, nor can I play a musical instrument. However, as one may recall, I do have a love of the keyboard, and I have a long history of farting around with them.

Last summer Mrs. Farrago and I upgraded our computers, and I came into possession of my first brand new computer in the 21st century, an Apple G5 iMac. While farting around with it (What? There’s a manual?) I discovered this little program that came with the purchase, called “Garage Band.” I read in the help menus that one so inclined could attach a MIDI keyboard to the computer and use that to pump sounds out of the computer. Ahh, wouldn’t that be nice? I had my old Casio keyboard down in the basement, the one I’d had since I bought the demo model in 1993. It had MIDI capability, but it was the size of a surfboard, so it wouldn’t fit in the tight confines of my home office. So I was content to use the QWERTY keyboard mapped as a musical instrument, which the app calls “musical typing.” Okay, “content” doesn’t fit as well as “tolerant.” Okay, so I never messed with it after the novelty wore off.

Then, one day shortly after my 41st birthday, and immediately after a routine dental appointment, I moseyed through the Michigan Avenue Apple store, where my eyes were grabbed by the flash of a dreamy sight: an iMac, open to “Garage band,” with a musical keyboard attached! The keyboard was marked at only $100, so I used my birthday money and I bought one! (Yes, I had ‘birthday money.’ Shut up.)

Then I gave away my Casio keyboard as a wonderful gift (same link as above...). And after that I propped my new MIDI keyboard, unopened, against the wall next to my desk, waiting for the day I cleaned off my desk and made room for the keyboard. That was in October. Finally, just a couple of weeks ago I finally cleared some space for the keyboard, and I finally was able to play with it.

I have a small repertoire of tunes I play. None of them are very sophisticated, but I like to play them over and over because they’re original, and they’re mine. I occasionally create something new, just hitting some keys and, if I hear something interesting, I explore it. But the problem has often been that I would find a cool sound, play it for a day, and then, since I can’t write music, I would forget it. Well, with “Garage Band” I can record whatever I create into a timeline. Then I can create a second track and record an accompaniment to the first. I can layer sounds and instruments. And then I can look at what I’ve created as notes on a musical staff!! I think I can even print it out as sheet music, but I’ve never explored that possibility.

So, just farting around with the keyboard and “Garage Band,” I hit on a sound and I played with it. About twenty minutes later I had created three tracks with three different instrument voices in a somewhat dark and foreboding tune, and I was giggling like a schoolgirl over what I had created. I called Mrs. Farrago in to let her listen to it. She smiled at me, more amused at the giddy grin on my face than the musical sludge I had just produced. She offered her opinion – unsolicited as it was – and from her words came the title of the song.

So, I present to you a Farrago original, Bad ‘80s Sci-fi Movie Theme Song. Let me know if you download it into your iPod or MP3 player. I want the royalties. (Don’t worry. I don’t sing on it.)




dassall