I am not a salesman. But then, neither is Mrs. Farrago. Whatever it might be that requires dealing with strangers or the public or people on the other end of a telephone line, Mrs. Farrago isn’t it. Neither am I, but if I don’t do it, Mrs. Farrago makes we wait another week before I get another look at my testicles in the jar that she keeps hidden away somewhere.
Mrs. Farrago’s father -- let’s just call him Papa Swiss -- who lived with us for four years, decided almost all on his own to move out to an assisted living facility about a mile from our home. Now that he’s living in a place where his every need is tended to, he’s decided he no longer has a need for his car, which he has left parked in its handicapped reserved space in front of our house. We should have asked if the assisted living facility facilitates auto sales….
So, Mrs. Farrago and I are stuck with selling Papa Swiss’s car. And, in case you don’t remember reading the first paragraph of this post, that means that I'm stuck with selling Papa Swiss’s car.
It’s a nice enough car. It’s pretty basic, with manual locks and windows, automatic transmission, power steering and power brakes. The problem I saw from the outset is that, though it’s a Toyota 4-Runner, it only has a 4-cylinder engine, and it’s 2-wheel-drive. Until I saw this vehicle, I would never have guessed that a) Toyota would make a 2-wheel-drive version, or b) anyone would have bought a 2-wheel-drive version of a 4-Runner.
And that brings up the issue of making it look desirable. Without lying. The smartest thing we’ve done with it is park it at the local supermarket/strip mall/plaza with the “FOR SALE” sign pointed at the street. We moved it there today and received four phone calls within the first 90 minutes. But then I have to talk about it.
“Yes, it’s a ’97…No, it’s a 4-cylinder…I AM talking about the Toyota…Yes, automatic…No, no, just 2-wheel drive…Yes, I know it’s a 4-Runner…Well, they made at least ONE with 2-wheel-drive…Sir, I’ve never worked for Toyota, so I have no idea why they did it….”
But that’s not the hardest part of it. I hate haggling. I’m not good at it when I’m the buyer, and I’m not good at it as the seller, either. What’s worse, it’s not even me I’m haggling for!
It’s not in pristine shape. It has about 84,000 miles on it, and it has a small, creased dent in the passenger side front door. With these factors taken into account, we’ve researched the fair market value of the thing. So, let’s just say we’re asking $5000 for it. Okay, we really are asking $5000 for it. It’s fair-market range is $4500-$5500. I just don’t know how long to hold out for it when they make their “best” offers. I feel like I’m sucking the life out of them when I say, “Sorry, fifteen hundred just isn’t enough. I want more, MORE!”
I just hope some kid with accommodating parents comes along and really, really wants it for his first car, or an old guy much like Papa Swiss considers it a great deal, because I don’t think anybody else is going to find it worth their while. As a Toyota, people want something with more power and take-off speed than a 4-cylinder will give them. As an SUV, people want the confidence and stability in Chicago rain and snow that 4-wheel drive will give them. I just don’t believe in the product.
That’s three strikes against me.
4 comments:
My mother has a hard time with situations like this too. She always gives away too much information, often without even being asked. Of course, in your case, if you left out some important factor, they would find out quickly anyway. Stick with the honesty and pray for a sucker.
Throw in an ice scraper and a pine tree air freshener and I'll take it off your hands right now for two grand.
We own several properties we rent out and it's always me who shows them and writes up the lease. The missus has nothing to do with it — insists on having nothing to do with it, in fact — but whenever we have a problem with a tenant, guess who she blames?
Trina-
Since it's available on the card we've stuck in the window, I don't mention the information unless they ask...and they usually do, because they never read the damn card!
Schprock-
1) HEY! HOWTHEHELLAREYA! What's the name and URL of your new blog because surely you've not gone nearly two months without writing because it oozes out of you like ear-wax!
2)Picked up the ice scraper (with a brush feature, too!) and the pine tree air freshener today. You picking it up or am I driving it to you?
3)Of course she blames you! She has nothing to do with it! Why else would she want not to have anything to do with it?
So whatcha been up to?
I don't have your testicles. and if I don't have them, and YOU don't have them . . .
Post a Comment