Life IBM*

It's been a dull creep since Marlo Thomas turned 71. At least half my readership (that's one reader, yo) have been scanning Chicago area obits to see if I croaked.

Nope. Just life *in boring mode.

Iowa: It's a Lot Like Iowa
Next year's chairman of our largest client association lives in an Illinois suburb of Clinton, Iowa. We do a video on the incoming chairman of this association every year, and this year's was within a couple hours' driving distance of Chicago.

Not much worth saying here other than Clinton, Iowa, is a tragically boring place. It was one of the towns along the Mississippi River that flooded last summer, but to the people who live there, that's kinda what life in Clinton is all about. When you live by a river chances are if it can't kill you when you're out for a summer dip, then someday it's going to reach over its banks and try to kill you at your house.

The subject of our video seems a very nice man, around age 60 or 65, I'm guessing. He bears a striking resemblance to my ex-father-in-law. It's not an unfavorable resemblance. I like my ex-father-in-law. Was it wrong to tell the incoming chairman of the resemblance? Our client and Producer thought so.

We interviewed the mayor of Clinton. His glasses fogged up right in the middle of it. I've never seen anything like that, just fogging up in the middle of the council chamber with no change of room temperature. I think he got nervous.

Then we left a clamp there. It's one of those things that costs about $30, but, depending on the shoot, can be one of the most important pieces of equipment you could ever need.

Amazin' Amazon and the Blu-Rage
Sunday night, the first night in Iowa (we were there two nights), I finally pulled the trigger on a large electronics purchase I've been wanting to make. I had shopped it on Amazon.com already, and decided to do it before I talked myself out of it. Again. So I ordered a Samsung HT-AS720ST Surround-Sound Home Theater receiver, a Samsung BD-P1500 Blu-Ray disc player and a pair of chunky snow boots (the brown ones). No, they're not electronic. I just needed some boots.

Upon completing the order and requesting the Super-Saver free shipping, Amazon informed me that the order would be delivered in five to nine business days. Well, being the Sunday before Thanksgiving, I had no confidence that by Thursday evening I'd be sleeping off the tryptophan coma while basking in the Blu-Ray light and 5.1 walls of sound pumped out by "The Christmas Story."

We shot Monday and Tuesday, and drove home Tuesday evening. On Wednesday one of my co-workers, Bill, asked me "what the hell" the stuff was I had ordered that was sitting in the warehouse.

"What stuff?"

He told me a couple of boxes had arrived the day before. I followed him back to the warehouse, and sure as shit, there sat my complete Amazon.com order! It had arrived on Tuesday! Bill was really curious what I had ordered because, to him, the Amazon "smile" logo looked more like the underside of a penis,

and he thought he had busted me ordering some sort of sex toys!

But those were delivered in plain brown packages a week before.

Thanksgiving morning I actually went in to the office and spent a few hours putting together an awards presentation video as a favor for a guy who attended one of our client shows. Since it's a personal favor, I can't occupy an edit suite when real projects need to get done, so I chose a day I knew no one else would be around to bother me. It went more smoothly than even I had imagined it could, and by 12:30 I was on my way to my sister's house for Thanksgiving.

The only noteworthy and different tale to tell here would be if I had not stuffed myself to the point of near-unconsciousness, but what kind of Thanksgiving would that be? The only other item worth mentioning is we all got to meet my 25 y.o. nephew's new girlfriend.

I hate him.

Friday I spent the afternoon putting together my new surround-sound stereo system and hooking up my new Blu-Ray disc player. Aside from realizing that the manufacturer-supplied speaker wire was not long enough to go around my living room to reach the two rear speakers, it all worked just marvelously! In order to test the surround-sound, I pulled out one of the movies I own, Saving Private Ryan (no, not "Shaving Ryan's Privates!" I'll never make that mistake again!) for I knew its opening battle scene just had to be a veritable workout for a surround-sound system! I popped the disc in, it loaded up, and it sounded AWESOME! I had a Netflix movie I wanted to watch, so I put away Saving Private Ryan. I spent the next half hour cleaning up the mess left over from emptying boxes and opening little plastic bags that held the essential little goodies, and I nuked up some burritos to enjoy while watching the beginning of Crash.

I got everything ready, pulled the disc out of its Netflix sleeve, and I pressed the "tray open/close" button on the Blu-Ray player.

Nothing.

I pressed the "tray open/close" button on the remote.

Bupkis.

My brand-new Blu-Ray player, which had worked for 15 minutes only a half-hour earlier, was now an oversized paper-weight. I tried getting it to work by various methods, from unplugging it and replugging it, to swearing at it in Latin (try finding that in the inturwebz!), to praying to a god I know ain't there, but to no avail. The player was dead.

Con Share Toe
Back shortly after my marriage came to a shrieking halt, I received a phone call from the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, begging for money. The ex-Mrs. Farrago and I had spoken several times of going to see Orchestra performances, but we only ever got around to seeing one. Feeling just a little reckless, I agreed to buy some tickets, and at $560 for ten season-tickets (five shows), I felt pretty damn reckless when I hung up the phone! Even worse, the first show was still a whole year off! At least, I figured, the divorce would be final by then, and I'd have some dating prospects.

HAH! At least I was half right.

The only real prospect was the woman who had asked me out in August. We had gone out once, but there was no chemistry after we beat to death the topic of our failed marriages. I did ask her to the first concert, but she has filled her schedule with a second job that she works when her ex-husband has the kids, and she won't schedule social life when she has the kids.

So, November 30 was upon me, and I still had no date. Saturday morning I had a brainstorm: How about putting an ad up on Craigslist and see if anyone wants a free seat at the concert!

I put it up in "Strictly Platonic," and said that it wasn't a date, and that there were no strings attached other than the person had to sit next to me, and had to behave and dress in a manner appropriate for a Symphony concert.

The first respondent was a woman named Marva. We agreed to meet the next day about 15 minutes before the program was scheduled to start. Where, by the sound of her voice, I anticipated a gray-haired woman of about 60, Marva turned out to be a very attractive African-American woman. I have a notoriously difficult time guessing the age of people of African heritage, as, in middle- and elder age it seems they are usually about ten to fifteen years older than they look. If I were to guess, I'd say Marva was 40 to 45 years old. By my sliding scale, then it must mean she's 60!

After the show Marva insisted on treating me to dinner at "Rhapsody Café," right next-door to the Symphony Center. I really enjoyed her company, and we had a great conversation, so, as our dinner ended and I had to break away for the airport, I asked her if I could call her again, and she said "Yes!"

Amazin', Part 2 and Cruisin' June!
Tuesday, after a flight-delayed Sunday evening ordeal which got me into my Washington, D.C. hotel at 2:15am Monday morning, and a Monday shoot where I spent more time waiting around than I did shooting, I filled out the online forms at Amazon.com to exchange the faulty Blu-Ray player. Upon completion, Amazon informed me that the anticipated delivery date of the replacement item was December 9. Ugh! A whole week without my Blu-Ray! …which I never even got to use…

I got an e-mail from our sister company in Columbus, Ohio. One of their clients, for which I and my coworker, Bill, had worked a couple times in the past few years, has requested that Bill and I work for them again to produce their highlights videos on their upcoming summer shows.

This is cool for a couple of reasons. First, this company's meeting planner, who had been hired away from another company, had for a couple of years been trying to dump our sister company for one she had been working with at her prior employer. Meeting planners are loyal that way. She had all but succeeded when she came into conflict with company policy and was fired. Whoever was put in her place to pick up the pieces remembers us, Bill and I, and made sure not simply to request that our company do their highlights video, but requested Bill and me, specifically. That's a good feeling!

The second reason this is cool is that the June show is 8 days on a cruise ship! We know not where, yet, but IT'S A CRUISE! And the July show is 8 days in Cancun! We don't know yet if our boss will let us go (he probably will…if we both still have jobs here in June), but at least now there's June to look forward to!

Hot DOG! And my replacement Blu-Ray player came today!

But I tried to call Marva yesterday evening. She didn't pick up. I left a message. She has not yet returned my call. Do you think she was just humoring me at dinner?

And with this post I have 100 on the year!

WOO HOO!