Phoning It In

Satan — in the earthly form of George, the Personal Trainer — had me work the back muscles this morning, and so now I can't sit up straight without crying for my mommy. Instead of putting forth some real thought tonight, I'll transcribe some thought I put forth a couple nights ago for my Facebook page.

Consider yourself tagged. Every. Last. One. Of. You! (except kenju. She already done did it.)

25 Random Things About Me

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this on your Facebook page, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I usually have no clue what I'm going to write when I start one of these things, and then when I'm done I feel I've barely scratched the surface.

2. It's been a slow progression, but I have come to prefer dots to separate the area code and prefix from the extension when I write or type telephone numbers. I like 312.867.5309 instead of 312-867-5309.

3. Whenever I get a hole in a sock, I throw the sock away and keep the good one, because I usually have another pair like it, and one of those is eventually going to get a hole in it, so then I'll still have at least one good pair.

4. It really pisses me off when filling out contact information on a website, and the web form doesn't allow dots to separate the area code and prefix from the extension when entering telephone numbers.

5. It has taken me more than a year to "move in" completely to my apartment. I still have a bunch of junk in boxes taking up prime space in my living room. I just NOW, finally, rented a small storage space to put that crap in.

6. Karaoke no longer scares me.

7. Sometimes I fear that my coworkers think I'm a fraud.

8. Sometimes I think I'm a fraud.

9. My preference in underwear (my own) is evolving.

10. I pay someone else to do my laundry, and I think it's well worth having that time to myself.

11. I have no secret talents...at least none that I'm aware of.

12. I originated the conundrum, "If I told you I was a chronic liar, would you believe me?"

13. I love bananas, but I hate anything "banana-flavored."

14. I love green peppers raw, but will not go near them cooked.

15. I have never tasted tequila. I can't get past the smell making me feel that I would puke if I drank it.

16. I have never been so drunk that I've puked.

17. I have been drunk enough that I licked spilled liquor off the floor...and then been subsequently lifted off that floor by my hair in an effort to prevent me from licking the booze off the floor. ...when I had hair.

18. I am a Mayflower Descendant. William Brewster, who was the leader of the Puritan church, and the pilgrims' elder, was my 11th great grandfather. The first governor of the Territory of Montana was my 1st cousin-five-times-removed. The guy who is credited with the invention of the photo-strobe and, hence, stop-motion photography, was my 8th cousin, and has a building named after him at MIT. And I may be related to one of the two guys who established the Burger King enterprise.

19. I have always liked to dig lint out of crevices, and the fuzz out of the 'hook' side of velcro. It's probably what I'll do all day when I lose my faculties and am a walking vegetable...but preferably not a cooked pepper.

20. I am about one-third of the way through writing a novel, but life and a lack of self-discipline are keeping me from it.

21. When I was younger I used to be able to crack more than 65 joints in my body, and did so regularly: 28 in my feet, both knees, six in my arms, 30 in my hands and four or five in my neck and lower back. Now it's all I can do to reach my toes.

22. In 1993 I went blind in my left eye due to an occurrence called "Central Retinal Vein Occlusion." What that means is that the vein carrying blood from my left eye was somehow blocked, which caused the blood to back up into my eye, causing the retina to hemorrhage, resulting in rendering the eye effectively sightless. An orbit surgeon performed a Retinal Vein Decompression procedure, opening the optic nerve sheath which houses the optic nerve, the retinal artery and the retinal vein, to relieve a possible over-pressure of spinal fluid in the sheath, as that was the only thing he could figure it was after all the tests came up negative. Knowing it was too late to save any vision, the doctor's only concern with the surgery was to stop the hemorrhage in the eye. The center core of sight is gone, but I do have peripheral vision in the eye...so don't be thinking you can sneak up on me from my left.

23. I can't stand cigarette smoke and, therefore, don't smoke 'em. However I do like the smell of cigars on fire. I'm not allowed to smoke in my apartment, but, now that I have a nice deck chair, this spring and summer I will partake of cigars on my balcony.

24. I love movies, but, with rare exception, I can't, for the life of me, quote dialogue from even the most well-known of them like just about everyone else around me can.

25. I lead a very boring life. How do I know this? It has taken me two days to come up with stuff for this list, and I keep falling asleep while trying to think of what to write about.