Sunday's Project

I spent most of the day dealing with this.



It's actually two different pieces from the same design set at IKEA – BESTÅ. The bottom piece is simply a two-section shelf that can be stacked on another piece to make a taller bookshelf, or can stand alone as a TV stand, or can be mounted on a wall as a floating book shelf, or – as I've done – can have another piece stacked on top of it.

The larger, top piece is designed as a TV cabinet, and turned out to be a bit of a bitch to work with. The shelves are just deep enough to put electronic components in them, but when you have cables attached, suddenly those shelves aren't quite so deep.

I spent three hours at IKEA last Sunday trying to figure out which piece(s) I wanted, and then, when I figured that piece wouldn't fit, I had to come up with another solution. I had every intention of going back to IKEA to pick up the items during the week one night after work, when the place wouldn't be so crowded, but I never made it back, so I went today right as they opened their doors, scooped up the things I needed and zipped back home.

I hadn't quite finished the larger piece when I realized that IKEA's placement of the hole for cables and cords – right in the middle of the back wall in the TV space of the cabinet – rendered most of my cords and cables too short, as the TV's connectors are on the bottom left of the unit. So I ran to the local hardware store and bought a cordless drill and a hole cutter assembly, and cut a new hole where I needed it…. There'll be no returning this item to IKEA!! And now I have a new cordless drill!

And, yes, seeing is believing… those are old vinyl LP record albums in the bottom piece. They had been stored in a couple of plastic milk crates for about the last 15 years, and had been cluttering up the living room here in the apartment since I moved them here. Finally they're in a real cabinet, and I have my floor space back, and a view of my gas fireplace that I never even used last winter because of all the stuff in front of it!!

While sorting through the albums I contemplated the duplicates. Last fall when I was moving my stuff out of the house I had shared with Mrs. Farrago, she and I sifted through the LPs, as we had stored hers and mine together. Mysteriously, some of the albums had multiplied. Now there were two of each of Van Halen's first album, Fair Warning, 1984 and 5150, as well as Billy Joel's Glass Houses. Even more mysteriously, two Rod Stewart albums and another by Billy Squier had appeared spontaneously. I had only one of each Van Halen album and each Billy Joel album, and never had any Rod Stewart or Billy Squier. Mrs. Farrago had never owned any of these… EVER …as she made clear to me.

So I did the best thing I could think of… of the duplicates, I compared the condition of each disc itself, taking the one with the cleanest, most blemish-free surface, as well as choosing the jacket in the best condition of each pair.

Back when I was collecting the vinyl, I adopted the practice of playing any disc only once, and at that playing I recorded it onto audio-cassette. I could then play the crap out of the audio-cassette and never remove the LP from its jacket again until the tape gave out. I never had a tape give out. So it was pretty easy to tell which of the duplicate LPs were mine originally: they look brand new.

The plan now is to someday buy a turntable and record each LP record to a CD and once again be able to take that music with me, though I doubt Rod Stewart will ever see the light of day.

The United Nations of IKEA

Since I moved out of my marital home I’ve been living in a two-bedroom apartment with a few items the-soon-to-be-ex Mrs. Farrago and I agreed I would take with me, a few items I was allowed to take from the office, and a few items I’ve purchased since the move. Among those items was NOT a proper bed.

Until now.

I have the box spring and mattress from the house. There was a spare set – as well as the marital bed’s frame – upon which ts2bx Mrs. Farrago now sleeps. I had the basic steel frame, but the box spring sat perfectly on the floor, so I figured, why bother? (Let’s not mention that I didn’t have bolts to fasten said steel frame together….) But it wasn’t pretty, so I’ve been waiting for the right time to buy a “bed.”

That time was Tuesday.

I went to the retail mecca that is IKEA and picked up the items I had a while back picked out. They are, of course, the MALM bed frame; the matching, attaching MALM side table; and the totally unrelated BENNO CD storage tower.

I assembled the bed and the side table Wednesday evening, inevitably rearranging the room so I could walk around in it. The birch veneer smartly complements the natural pine HOL storage chest and the chest of drawers, the funky Swedish name of which I do not recall, both purchased at IKEA several years back, when ts2bx Mrs. Farrago and I were a couple.



The MALM bed and accompanying side table, sold separately.


The HOL storage bin purchased several years ago.



The chest of drawers purchased years ago.
I don't know its IKEA name.

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Every time I go into IKEA, I am overwhelmed. Nearly every item I see is cool beyond words. Innovative yet simple design, clever convenience, smart storage – everything in the store seems to fall under one or more of these adjective praises. I’ve always wondered what it would look like to start with a bare dwelling and furnish it entirely with IKEA products. Well, I guess it would look much like an IKEA store. But I mean, what would a home look like? How would it feel to live in it? Would I feel transported to Sweden once I stepped inside the front door? Or, again, just to an IKEA store?

Maybe I’ll make that a goal – IKEA-ize my apartment!

It truly is an international retail company. Some may say – often with a look of disgust on their puss – that Target is an international retailer, a French-owned company. “Tarzhay,” if you will. But I’ve been to France a few times and I never saw a “Tarzhay” there, but I did see an IKEA store. And I saw one very recently in Germany.

IKEA. The name is an acronym representing the name of the company’s founder – Ingvar Kamprad – the farm where he grew up – Elmtaryd – and his home village in Sweden – Agunnaryd. But the name might as well be Swedish for “international glue.”

Consider this: IKEA largely sells the exact same products in each of its 273 stores in 36 countries (wikipedia), and, with rare exception, by the same product names. No matter which store you visit worldwide, once you’re in the door, it’s much the same experience as another. Each product requiring assembly is accompanied by a graphic instruction manual – there are no words other than the name of the product, no languages to master and subsequently mangle, only images showing how to assemble the item.


"Easy to assemble! Literacy not required!"


It turns out that the MALM bed is one of their most popular. So Wednesday evening, while I was crawling around on my bedroom floor, poring over randomly dispersed planks of fiberboard and dedicated hardware, it is very likely that in each of 35 other countries around the planet there was at least one person also rolling around on the floor, following the same wordless instruction guide, attempting to bring a bit of Scandinavian design into his or her home! We’re kin! We share the bond of MALM! We have IKEA in our blood!

And I’ll bet, even if it’s just one little item, that some of you readers are my IKEA brethren… and sistren, too.

Gimme a HUG!

A Blog About Stuff I Should Blog About

I went to Germany alone for nine days over the holidays. I rented a car and drove from Frankfurt to Berlin and points around and in between and back. I should blog about that.

I finally bought a real computer speaker system, for cheap. It sounds pretty damn good! I should blog about that.

I went to IKEA and bought a MALM queensize bedframe and side table, both in the birch veneer. I should blog about that.

I finally ordered and received a Home Styles® Nantucket™ Buffet & Hutch and put it in my kitchen, increasing my counter space and drawer space. I should blog about that.

Since early (mid?) December I’ve read Robert Ludlum’s three Bourne novels. I should blog about that.

Lately I’m taking this I’m-getting-a-divorce thing not so well. Nothing has changed in that arena, so I don’t know why I’ve been so down. I should blog about that. But I won’t.

Now you know what you’ve been missing.