I’ve had conversations with a few people who won’t or who just can’t dine alone. And by that I mean, go out to a nice, sit-down, table- service restaurant by themselves, have a seat, and have a meal. It seems alien to them.
Why?
Okay, it sucks that things have turned out for me the way they have. I thought I’d be married to Mrs. Farrago for the rest of my life. I was wrong. But should the absence of her beside me stop me from going out and having a nice meal? Maybe I lived alone too long before she re-entered my life, but, even now, going alone to a fine dining establishment doesn’t fill me with a level of social stress that makes me second guess my decision to go there.
Is there some social stigma that life failed to program into me?
Would I prefer some company? Of course I would. I just don’t have anybody on my dance card at the moment. I have a co-worker who, in the past, when we’ve been out on the road, has been traumatized when I’ve told him I just wasn’t hungry, and for him to take the rental vehicle and go alone to wherever he wants.
“I can’t go alone!” This is a grown man with a wife and kids. “You have to go with me!”
And then he looks at me strangely whenever I tell him I had dinner out alone.
So I assessed my food situation: I have no leftovers in the house to eat; I have consistently forgotten to buy bread this week, so sandwiches are out; I’m leaving town for a week tomorrow, and I don’t want to generate any leftovers to sit in the refrigerator and incubate. So, since I’ve caught myself salivating every time this week each time I rediscovered the Macaroni Grill restaurant almost literally a stone’s throw from my apartment complex, I decided a treat was in order. And I went to dinner. Alone. I didn’t ask anybody along. I didn’t think of anybody to ask.
Do you think it’s strange? Or better yet, do you think I’m strange? What do you/would you do in such a situation? Hit a fast food place? Curl up on the couch and eat sardines and crackers? Pick Doritos crumbs from between the cushions?
(The Chicken and Shrimp Scallopine was outstanding, by the way!)
12 comments:
I'm in total agreement with you- I don't understand the stigma behind eating alone in a nice place. Before I banished myself to Themiddleoffuckingnowhere, MT I went to nice places alone, often. It wasn't that I didn't have friends to take with me, I just preferred to go alone sometimes. I could eat at my leisure, relax, watch people, enjoy the peace and quiet, stay and long or short as I wanted... hell I could bring a book if I felt like it! I think there is NOTHING wrong with dining alone! Enjoy! Yourself could be the best company you could have!
I have no problem eating lunch alone and reading a book, but I admit to feeling odd if I eat alone in a nice restaurant for dinner. If I am alone because mr. kenju is out of town, I might go to a fast food place or order take-out, but not go in and sit by myself. Maybe it is because I am an older woman, but I just feel odd doing it. It is stupid - but there you have it!
I don't think it's wrong to eat alone, but there is a stigma attached to it. I don't think I could eat alone because I like to be left alone. Eating alone might make me a target.
I'm sad about you and the ex. Do you want to reconcile or is this the best for both of you? (is that too personal?)
Hmm.
I can't understand why anyone might think it's strange.
I have no problem eating alone. I have been able to experience "alone" for the first time in my life and I actually enjoy it sometimes. Macaroni Grill is definately better than fast food and doritos.
I have no problem with eating alone. I go to the movies alone too, and I prefer it that way. Oh sure, it's great to have others with you, but sometimes it's nice to have a break. When I waitressed, we used to have several people that would come in alone to eat. A lot of the waitresses said they could never do that.
Beth-- We talked about working on us during the separation, but -- at least right now -- there's an aura of permanence around us. I can find no other way to describe it.
Toast-- I don't get it either. Why should one's solitariness (is this a word? WORDNERD to the recue!) have to mean one can't enjoy the atmosphere and good flavors of a popular eating establishment?
nettie-- Thanks for taking in my blog! How did you find it? Be sure to visit my linkees! I hope your aloneness is by your choice. And, I wholeheartedly agree that almost any sit-down, table-service restaurant is better than fast food and Doritos!
trina-- I used to go to the movies alone a lot, too. I even used to do weekend movie marathons: I'd peruse the theater ads and plot out the course for an afternoon and evening to see up to three movies on Saturday and three on Sunday. I maybe only did three-a-days once or twice. Blurred vision, salt-numbed lips and popcorn-greased fingers made for a dangerous drive home! (Though how numb lips factor in there, I don't know...)
guess it would be a big deal if you're hung up on what other people might think about you. some people can't deal with being alone either, it freaks them out.
glad you're doing ok
I think there's a stigma to eating alone, but that's part of the appeal for me, anyway. I go alone to the movies all the time. Is that in the same league?
scarlet-- Thanks for visiting my blog! Thanks even more for commenting!!
If there truly is a stigma attached to dining out alone, then I'd have to assume there's one attached to movie-going. It's not like I care. At last I don't have to listen to innocuous comments by someone I'm with...or worse, fear making the innocuous comments to someone I'm with!
well, hell, i HOPE you're strange indeed, or else I'm a-wastin' me time here!! :^)
Actually, since I'm unemployed and therefore taking care of our 2 autistic children most of the time, I LOVE eating alone!! Of course, the last time I did this I brought along my laptop and hooked up to the WiFi at Denny's and chatted with a friend of mine, so maybe that doens't count...??
Just be careful next time, because if you happen to spill your coffee on your laptop, you have to keep spilling it, because it's an endless cup of coffee....
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