"Shrink Rap"

The first one is up and running!



Rennratt, if you could contact your viral buddies and have them work their magic, it would be awresome!

What I Didn't Do Last Summer

Five months have passed since I was laid off from the job I had longer than any other. I planned from about the second week of unemployment to chase a couple of dreams, see if I could make any headway in the new careers, and try to generate some income from them.

And?

Not so much. Admittedly, I haven't been chasing the video production work too hard, but that's the "old" career, anyway. I've been to probably a couple dozen auditions, now, mostly for short, no-budget films. My first audition, back in May, was a personal disaster, as my combined lack of physical coordination and rhythm doomed my chances for a role even as a piece of scenery!

There was a somewhat unnerving audition for a role in a film about about men with secret gay lives, in which, I was told, would be sex scenes with nudity and "simulated sex." It sounded like a fantastic challenge, but as I was interviewed by the production team, I realized in my own head and body that I was not ready for anything like that!

All of the other auditions seem to have passed into the blur of shallow memories.

I have responded to a couple of calls for extras in no-budget short films, and have gotten some camera time. The wait is still on to see if I ever get screen time.

I auditioned last week for a stage musical at Northeastern Illinois University. I performed a comedic monologue I had downloaded, and I sang "The Impossible Dream," the signature solo from "Man of La Mancha." I joked a bit with the director, received a nice compliment from the music director on my vocal range, and learned a little bit about the play, which is about a young man who, in order to receive the inheritance from his dead uncle, must perform a list of tasks lined out by his uncle...and he must do them with the dead uncle.

I landed a part in this musical, entitled, "Lucky Stiff." And, yes, you guessed it, I landed the role of the dead uncle! I joked again with the director, asking what she must have thought of my acting and singing if I got the part of the corpse! She laughed, but then she said that the role of the corpse is quite demanding, and is onstage almost the entire time! Now it sounds as though the role of the corpse might kill me!

Exciting as this all may sound, none of it is generating any income. So I have decided to seriously investigate employment possibilities as a cab driver. It appeals to me for the reason that, as an independent contractor, I can set my own schedule and still pursue freelance video production, writing, and acting opportunities.

Check in for further updates...



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Skeletons From My Closet, pt IV

Another one for Calhoun Street Motors. I don't recall having much input into this one, but I do love the names of the newsmen posted on the screen.

Skeletons From My Closet, pt III

Another client sold on me as his "spokesface," this guy couldn't seem to get enough of me: I was in four of his TV spots. I believe this one was the first, and was written, directed, and shot by my boss. The "It's right there on the screen" idea was mine, though. I crack me up!

"Detective" - Calhoun Street Motors • Bainbridge, Georgia, circa 1998

Skeletons From My Closet, pt II

My debut went over so well among the account executives at my office that they began to offer my likeness as part of the production package. I protested, and put my foot down. I would not do it unless I got paid a talent fee on top of my regular hourly wage, thinking that would put the idea right out of their heads. The next client negotiated for $25. Note to self: when putting foot down, name a price!

I had very little input on this one. My boss produced, wrote, shot, directed, and edited.

This client loved me, and wanted me to be the advertising face of their company(?!), even talking, for a time, of a billboard campaign along I-75 throughout south Georgia. Can you imagine the wrecks that would have caused? I appeared in several more of their spots, and one infomercial. This is the best of them...by a long shot, believe me!

"Anything On Trade" - Premier Home Center of Valdosta, Georgia

Skeletons From My Closet, pt I

When I lived in Albany, Georgia, working at TCI Cable, I was also heavily involved in community theatre. I wrote a TV commercial, as it was part of my job, with a mind to give some of the actors in the theatre group some exposure in a local ad. However, as I read the idea — in a voice I considered appropriate to the main character I had created — to my boss and the account executive for whose client I wrote the spot, they looked at each other and determined that I should portray the character. I protested. I wanted to direct it; I wanted to shoot it; I wanted to edit it. I scored a partial victory... I got to edit it.

So here I am in my television acting debut, circa 1997, for Rick Davis Motors of Americus, Georgia.