Call Me What You Will

Call Me Crazy…
Lisa and I are back together. On Monday, after the weekend of the breakup, I e-mailed her to make sure she was okay, and to let her know that I didn't hate her and didn't want to be her enemy. There were a few hard words back and forth, her disbelief that I had treated her that way, my anger at being accused of fooling around and then being dismissed when I tried to proclaim my innocence.

But, through it all she was generally contrite, laying the blame — rightfully so — on her own shoulders. She admitted that she has a problem and, promising to keep it in check, asked me for another chance. I used the opportunity to suggest that she needed help, and to suggest that she get help. And I told her that if it happened, then I would be willing to try again. Over a matter of a couple days, she convinced me, first, that she was willing to get help, and then that she had contacted an office within her company that would help her find a counselor who can help her sort out the reasons for her insecurity. She told me she's holding out for a Ph.D., as she doesn't want to mess around with social workers.

So she seems to be serious about it. I made her a promise with one serious condition. She's meeting that condition, so we're tentatively back together, and we're taking things a little more slowly.


Call Me Lonely…
It bothered me through the week that my relationship with Lisa could be over because of only one negative aspect, but I was fully aware that the one aspect was a major issue by which I could not abide, not in the dosages she was handing it out. In the short time we were together, we did share some fun times. She has a great sense of humor and a cute, sexy laugh and, best of all, she laughs at my often dry humor. She's very affectionate and loves to talk, so there is always something for us to talk about, or at least for me to listen to. And she likes to go out and do things with her many friends. Granted, that seems to be the feeding ground for some of her irritation and insecurity, but hopefully she'll be able to get that sorted out.

So it's not like she's a one-dimensional person that was easy for me to simply toss from my life. I had seen potential with her for a long-term, loving relationship that would be fun and exciting and deep. I found myself truly missing those aspects of her in those days after I told her it wasn't in the cards for us. I didn't seek to get back with her, but I wanted to let her know that it wasn't just about sex with me, that I do care about her well-being and that I found real traits about her that I enjoyed exploring. That she's getting help for her deep insecurity issues tells me that she really wants me in her life, and is willing to make fundamental changes to a learned negative behavior in order to keep me there.


Call Me Horny…
Forgive me the kiss-and-tell, but she's pretty damn good in the bedroom (and the living room, and the kitchen…) and, despite the whole "taking things a little more slowly," we consummated our reconciliation Thursday with a spirited little romp!

Yeah. Go ahead. Call me a slut, too…

If anything, my eyes are wide open in this relationship. They opened with that first jealous flare-up and have remained open. I will hold her to the counseling and will ensure that she sees it through. While during that time I will tolerate other jealous flare-ups, they will not go unnoticed or un-noted or undiscussed. She needs to fix this problem, or — and she is very aware of this — our time together will be brief.