Thanks to an overwhelmingly ambivalent-to-negative reaction to my thoughts about AdSense-ing, I have reconsidered and decided against it. With a solid core of five anti-ad-clicking readers, plus the 2 to 16 each day who arrive at my blog by googling "farting keyboard," my chances of making any money at it are nil.
I suppose I could turn to traditional whoring, but I fear I'd make less than AdSense whoring.
Thank you, bloggers!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Ads Make Sense?
So I'm thinking of trying out Google's AdSense on my blog. Google's ad bot will scan my posts and put ads in my sidebar based on certain words found in my blog, and if anyone clicks on one of the ads, I could get paid.
So, would this make me a disgusting whore? Or just a mildly annoying whore?
So, would this make me a disgusting whore? Or just a mildly annoying whore?
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Another "Meme 'Cuz I'm Otherwise Uninspired Today" Meme
1) What is your favorite quotable line from a movie? -- "Next time you're gonna fuck me, kiss me first!"
--Philmore Walker, as portrayed by Robert Guillaume, in "Wanted: Dead or Alive," 1987
2) Who is the most famous person you have spoken to? -- Barack Obama. I met him on a plane from Washington, D.C., where he sat in the seat directly behind mine, approximately one week after he announced his candidacy for POTUS.
My photo of Sen. Barack Obama, taken with my Verizon® Motorola®
RAZR™ phone, February 8, 2007.
3) How many bags/boxes of Potato Chips are consumed at your place in a month? -- 0-1
4) Who is your all time favorite Cartoon Character? --
George W. Bush. No, wait. Seriously, Bugs Bunny, from the Warner Bros. cartoons of the '30s and '40s.
5) What foreign food Dish do you prepare from scratch and Serve? -- Hmmm... Interesting concept. Where in the grocery store does one find these Scratch and Serve meals?
6) What is your favorite section of the Supermarket? -- In whichever section the hot, dressed-to-kill MILFs are shopping! Secondly, in whichever section those Scratch and Serve meals are to be found!
7) What was your high school teams mascot and what were the school's colors? -- Trojans. Blue and white. "Gimme a P! Gimme an R! Gimme an O! Gimme a P! Gimme an H! Gimme a Y! ..."
--Philmore Walker, as portrayed by Robert Guillaume, in "Wanted: Dead or Alive," 1987
2) Who is the most famous person you have spoken to? -- Barack Obama. I met him on a plane from Washington, D.C., where he sat in the seat directly behind mine, approximately one week after he announced his candidacy for POTUS.
My photo of Sen. Barack Obama, taken with my Verizon® Motorola®
RAZR™ phone, February 8, 2007.
3) How many bags/boxes of Potato Chips are consumed at your place in a month? -- 0-1
4) Who is your all time favorite Cartoon Character? --
George W. Bush. No, wait. Seriously, Bugs Bunny, from the Warner Bros. cartoons of the '30s and '40s.
5) What foreign food Dish do you prepare from scratch and Serve? -- Hmmm... Interesting concept. Where in the grocery store does one find these Scratch and Serve meals?
6) What is your favorite section of the Supermarket? -- In whichever section the hot, dressed-to-kill MILFs are shopping! Secondly, in whichever section those Scratch and Serve meals are to be found!
7) What was your high school teams mascot and what were the school's colors? -- Trojans. Blue and white. "Gimme a P! Gimme an R! Gimme an O! Gimme a P! Gimme an H! Gimme a Y! ..."
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Inless Useformation
You read this far. Now you must do this.
1) What do you add to your coffee? a cup
2) What are you reading now? Professor's blog, "Babble From Babbler"
3) Do you own a gun? yes
4) Are you registered to vote? yup
5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? nope
6) What do you think of hot dogs? I rarely think of hot dogs. I just eat 'em.
7) Favorite Christmas Song? Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
8). What do you prefer to drink in the morning? coffee
9) Can you do push ups? At last check I can do 'a' pushup...and I think I injured my shoulder
10) What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Beth
11) What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? I don't wear jewelry.
12) Favorite hobby? blogging, writing
13) Do you work with people who idolize you? no
14) Do you have ADD? No, but I do have a mild case of SUBTRACT.
15) What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? my practically nonexistent chin
16) What’s your Middle name? Thomas
17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: "My practically nonexistent chin" is not the thing I hate most about myself; my confirmation name is Michael, but should an atheist entertain such thoughts?; my right leg hurts.
18). Name 3 things you bought yesterday: a) the (rental) luggage cart at Roanoke Airport; my lame co-worker's lame jokes; my hotel room in Lynchburg, VA (though it's work money, not mine)
19) Name 3 beverages you regularly drink: coffee, water, beer
20) Current worry right now? will I ever love/be loved again?
21) What side do you dress to? Uhhm...the outside?
22) Favorite place to be? in "flow"
23) How did you bring in the New Year? under a blanket in a bed at the Hahn B&B Hotel in Lautzenhausen, Germany, watching German New Year's Eve shows on TV, not understanding a damn word they were saying
24) Where would you like to go? 1942
25) Name three people who will complete this: Mark, ?, ?
26) Whose answers do you want to read the most? Barack Obama's, though I'm pretty sure he doesn't read my blog
27) What color shirt are you wearing? a yellowy, orangey, peachy kind of polo shirt
28). Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? not sure if I ever have...if it's horizontal, I can sleep on it
29) Can you whistle? depends on how the question is meant...I can whistle a tune, but I can't do a shriek whistle that one can hear 300 yards away
30) Favorite colors(s)? blue
31) Could you be a pirate? Who be wantin' ta know?
32) What songs do you sing in the shower? lately? Billy Joel songs
33) Favorite girls name? can't think of a favorite
34) Favorite boy’s name? even less able to think of one
35) What’s in your pocket right now? nothing. I'm just happy to see you.
36) Last thing that made you laugh? my own stooopid self
37) Best bed sheets as a child? none...they were utilitarian white
38). Worst injury you’ve ever had? I saw my girlfriend, Linda E., get out of her previously former boyfriend's car.
39) Do you love where you live? no, but I'm hoping it'll grow on me
40) How many TVs do you have in your house? 1
41) Who is your loudest friend? co-worker #1
42) How many dogs do you have? 6. They all live on in my heart.
43) Does anyone have a crush on you? nope
44) What are the most fun things you ever did? Out of Order at Theatre Albany; karaoke night with a gaggle of co-workers and a belly full of beer and steak in Orlando; sledding as a teen down the "hidden hill" under the high-tension lines
45) What are your favorite books? The Green Mile, The Stand, Dracula
46) What is your favorite candy? Snickers or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups or Kit Kat or Payday, depending on my mood
47) Favorite Team? Cubs
48). What songs do you want played at your funeral? Stayin' Alive*
49) What were you doing at 12 AM? changing my blog template
50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? shower
*not really
1) What do you add to your coffee? a cup
2) What are you reading now? Professor's blog, "Babble From Babbler"
3) Do you own a gun? yes
4) Are you registered to vote? yup
5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? nope
6) What do you think of hot dogs? I rarely think of hot dogs. I just eat 'em.
7) Favorite Christmas Song? Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
8). What do you prefer to drink in the morning? coffee
9) Can you do push ups? At last check I can do 'a' pushup...and I think I injured my shoulder
10) What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Beth
11) What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? I don't wear jewelry.
12) Favorite hobby? blogging, writing
13) Do you work with people who idolize you? no
14) Do you have ADD? No, but I do have a mild case of SUBTRACT.
15) What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? my practically nonexistent chin
16) What’s your Middle name? Thomas
17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: "My practically nonexistent chin" is not the thing I hate most about myself; my confirmation name is Michael, but should an atheist entertain such thoughts?; my right leg hurts.
18). Name 3 things you bought yesterday: a) the (rental) luggage cart at Roanoke Airport; my lame co-worker's lame jokes; my hotel room in Lynchburg, VA (though it's work money, not mine)
19) Name 3 beverages you regularly drink: coffee, water, beer
20) Current worry right now? will I ever love/be loved again?
21) What side do you dress to? Uhhm...the outside?
22) Favorite place to be? in "flow"
23) How did you bring in the New Year? under a blanket in a bed at the Hahn B&B Hotel in Lautzenhausen, Germany, watching German New Year's Eve shows on TV, not understanding a damn word they were saying
24) Where would you like to go? 1942
25) Name three people who will complete this: Mark, ?, ?
26) Whose answers do you want to read the most? Barack Obama's, though I'm pretty sure he doesn't read my blog
27) What color shirt are you wearing? a yellowy, orangey, peachy kind of polo shirt
28). Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? not sure if I ever have...if it's horizontal, I can sleep on it
29) Can you whistle? depends on how the question is meant...I can whistle a tune, but I can't do a shriek whistle that one can hear 300 yards away
30) Favorite colors(s)? blue
31) Could you be a pirate? Who be wantin' ta know?
32) What songs do you sing in the shower? lately? Billy Joel songs
33) Favorite girls name? can't think of a favorite
34) Favorite boy’s name? even less able to think of one
35) What’s in your pocket right now? nothing. I'm just happy to see you.
36) Last thing that made you laugh? my own stooopid self
37) Best bed sheets as a child? none...they were utilitarian white
38). Worst injury you’ve ever had? I saw my girlfriend, Linda E., get out of her previously former boyfriend's car.
39) Do you love where you live? no, but I'm hoping it'll grow on me
40) How many TVs do you have in your house? 1
41) Who is your loudest friend? co-worker #1
42) How many dogs do you have? 6. They all live on in my heart.
43) Does anyone have a crush on you? nope
44) What are the most fun things you ever did? Out of Order at Theatre Albany; karaoke night with a gaggle of co-workers and a belly full of beer and steak in Orlando; sledding as a teen down the "hidden hill" under the high-tension lines
45) What are your favorite books? The Green Mile, The Stand, Dracula
46) What is your favorite candy? Snickers or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups or Kit Kat or Payday, depending on my mood
47) Favorite Team? Cubs
48). What songs do you want played at your funeral? Stayin' Alive*
49) What were you doing at 12 AM? changing my blog template
50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? shower
*not really
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Bye-Bye To a Favorite Blogger
July 11, 2007, marked the last time Chloe posted at Moo the Third.
I really enjoyed Chloe's writing, as she shared a lot of what was on her heart, being the adult, troubled, conflicted result of a neglectful, abusive father, and an overbearing, demanding mother. It was sometimes an uncomfortable read as Chloe wove the pain of enduring her parents -- steeped in ethnic traditions and expectations -- into a fabric that also bore threads of the love she obviously still felt for them.
She shared a breakthrough with -- or, more precisely, a breakaway from -- her father, as she was finally able to stand up to him and express her pain at his neglectful and hurtful ways with her, and she told him, coldly, that he was no longer allowed to be a part of her life. That was one of her last posts at Moo the Third. She posted mentions of someone new in her life, which may or may not have been the cute little puppy she photographed with herself and posted as her last contribution there.
I don't know if she quit blogging, if she started anew with a new blog, or if something terrible happened to her. All I know is I waited patiently for a year for her to return, and she has not.
So, with some sadness, I have removed my link to her blog from my blog list. I don't have very many up there, and I think those few that are there are certainly deserving of my readers' attention, and those who choose to click through the links deserve to find fresh, relevant and up-to-date posts.
So, Chloe, if you still read here, I miss your posts. You're a great writer and you reached me repeatedly. But you stopped, and now I must bid you farewell.
I really enjoyed Chloe's writing, as she shared a lot of what was on her heart, being the adult, troubled, conflicted result of a neglectful, abusive father, and an overbearing, demanding mother. It was sometimes an uncomfortable read as Chloe wove the pain of enduring her parents -- steeped in ethnic traditions and expectations -- into a fabric that also bore threads of the love she obviously still felt for them.
She shared a breakthrough with -- or, more precisely, a breakaway from -- her father, as she was finally able to stand up to him and express her pain at his neglectful and hurtful ways with her, and she told him, coldly, that he was no longer allowed to be a part of her life. That was one of her last posts at Moo the Third. She posted mentions of someone new in her life, which may or may not have been the cute little puppy she photographed with herself and posted as her last contribution there.
I don't know if she quit blogging, if she started anew with a new blog, or if something terrible happened to her. All I know is I waited patiently for a year for her to return, and she has not.
So, with some sadness, I have removed my link to her blog from my blog list. I don't have very many up there, and I think those few that are there are certainly deserving of my readers' attention, and those who choose to click through the links deserve to find fresh, relevant and up-to-date posts.
So, Chloe, if you still read here, I miss your posts. You're a great writer and you reached me repeatedly. But you stopped, and now I must bid you farewell.
Monday, July 21, 2008
The Long Way Home
I made every attempt to leave the hotel in Granite Falls, Minnesota, by 4:00am...and I was rolling by 3:52!! I was hoping to make it to a co-worker's daughter's graduation party, which started at 1:00pm and ended at 6:00pm. And then, about 45 minutes on my way, I looked again at the Google Maps information only to see that the trip was estimated to take 8 hours and 44 minutes, not the 10 hours I originally believed it to be.... Getting up at 4:00 would have been SO much nicer!
This is what the Prairie's Edge Casino Resort hotel in Granite Falls, Min-
nesota, looks like at 3:51am.
Wisconsin
TRUCK!
From start to finish, I drove 3,475 miles from the parking lot at my office to the parking lot at my apartment 11 days later. Through Iowa, Nebraska, South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota and Wisconsin, I encountered dozens of highway construction zones. Not one of them slowed or stopped me -- that is, until I reached my home state of Illinois. And this wasn't minor congestion; I was STOPPED for as much as five minutes at various times.
This would've been a good time to knit that sweater I've always wanted
to learn how to knit so I could make.*
I finally bailed after about two miles of crawling at a pace slower than a baby's crawl! I took a state road east about 15 miles and then hit US 14, which took me to my co-worker's house. The sloppy joes were ta die for! And I am in no way a Chicago White Sox fan, but he had the Cubs road game vs. Houston and the White Sox home game vs. the Texas Rangers both playing side-by-side on his HDTV. It was quite the hit! I focused on the left half, where the Cubs pounded the Astros 9-0. The White Sox lost (insert "The Simpsons" bully kid's mocking "HAH - hah!" laugh here).
Illinois
Eleven days seemed like a lot of time to spend traveling when I was leaving, but I spent all or most of seven of those days in the car. I didn't meet too many people, but those I did meet seemed very nice. And I don't feel that those days behind the wheel were wasted; I had a window seat to some prime scenery, and my hands and feet at the controls to alter my course when the mood struck to explore that scenery up close. I snapped photos of just about everything that tickled my fancy, and I shared most of them on my blog. The Xterra performed flawlessly; no flat tires, no busted hoses, no oil hemorrhages. The new stereo and new iPod functioned practically non-stop and I listened to approximately 900 songs -- in shuffle mode -- on the trip. There were very few repeats, except when I went to turn up a song somewhere between Jameson, North Dakota, and Montevideo, Minnesota, and hit a bump in the road which caused me to hit a button (which one, I know not!) on the stereo, which then reshuffled the songs and started again from #1! From that point forward I used only the remote to adjust the volume!
In rare form, I managed to remember to put everything I needed on a list, and then managed not to forget anything from the list when packing. I thought I had lost ts2bx Mrs. Farrago's lens cap -- in Minnesota, on the last day of the trip, no less -- but I even found that!
So, in all, it was a wonderful trip.
I returned home to my apartment, unpacked my suitcase, and then I... uh ...packed my suitcase for the work trip I was to leave for on Monday. Greetings from Spartanburg, South Carolina!
Most people take pictures of their babies in front of interesting back-
grounds.... Here's my baby at The Badlands, South Dakota!
*I've never really wanted to learn how to knit, or make a sweater.
This is what the Prairie's Edge Casino Resort hotel in Granite Falls, Min-
nesota, looks like at 3:51am.
Wisconsin
TRUCK!
From start to finish, I drove 3,475 miles from the parking lot at my office to the parking lot at my apartment 11 days later. Through Iowa, Nebraska, South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota and Wisconsin, I encountered dozens of highway construction zones. Not one of them slowed or stopped me -- that is, until I reached my home state of Illinois. And this wasn't minor congestion; I was STOPPED for as much as five minutes at various times.
This would've been a good time to knit that sweater I've always wanted
to learn how to knit so I could make.*
I finally bailed after about two miles of crawling at a pace slower than a baby's crawl! I took a state road east about 15 miles and then hit US 14, which took me to my co-worker's house. The sloppy joes were ta die for! And I am in no way a Chicago White Sox fan, but he had the Cubs road game vs. Houston and the White Sox home game vs. the Texas Rangers both playing side-by-side on his HDTV. It was quite the hit! I focused on the left half, where the Cubs pounded the Astros 9-0. The White Sox lost (insert "The Simpsons" bully kid's mocking "HAH - hah!" laugh here).
Illinois
Eleven days seemed like a lot of time to spend traveling when I was leaving, but I spent all or most of seven of those days in the car. I didn't meet too many people, but those I did meet seemed very nice. And I don't feel that those days behind the wheel were wasted; I had a window seat to some prime scenery, and my hands and feet at the controls to alter my course when the mood struck to explore that scenery up close. I snapped photos of just about everything that tickled my fancy, and I shared most of them on my blog. The Xterra performed flawlessly; no flat tires, no busted hoses, no oil hemorrhages. The new stereo and new iPod functioned practically non-stop and I listened to approximately 900 songs -- in shuffle mode -- on the trip. There were very few repeats, except when I went to turn up a song somewhere between Jameson, North Dakota, and Montevideo, Minnesota, and hit a bump in the road which caused me to hit a button (which one, I know not!) on the stereo, which then reshuffled the songs and started again from #1! From that point forward I used only the remote to adjust the volume!
In rare form, I managed to remember to put everything I needed on a list, and then managed not to forget anything from the list when packing. I thought I had lost ts2bx Mrs. Farrago's lens cap -- in Minnesota, on the last day of the trip, no less -- but I even found that!
So, in all, it was a wonderful trip.
I returned home to my apartment, unpacked my suitcase, and then I... uh ...packed my suitcase for the work trip I was to leave for on Monday. Greetings from Spartanburg, South Carolina!
Most people take pictures of their babies in front of interesting back-
grounds.... Here's my baby at The Badlands, South Dakota!
*I've never really wanted to learn how to knit, or make a sweater.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Mini Soda
It was a short drive today, in comparison to the other days on this trip. I drove more than half the way from TMOFN, Montana, to Montevideo, Minnesota, yesterday, so today's drive was only about four and a half hours. And the landscape becomes more tame the farther east one drives from Montana, so the roadside spectacles became fewer, though there were a few things worth noticing.
It looked like the wind in eastern North Dakota was pretty stiff this morning!
Not long after I entered Minnesota, I started feeling lethargic and depressed... and then I discovered why....
Western Minnesota
So I guess this means the trip is pretty much over, unless anyone wants to hear about my niece's wedding. After that it's a 10-hour drive home through the rest of Minnesota, Wisconsin and northern Illinois.
The Road Can Teach You Things
What did I learn on my trip?
- During the recent flooding in Iowa, I heard it said that this country's corn crop was "ruined." That may be true for the riverside farmers in Iowa, but not true of the whole state. There's L O T S of corn out there!
- It's really unfair when, after you leave a place, they go in behind you and change all the stuff you remember. And it's inevitable.
- No matter how hard life is kicking you, it's always kicking someone else harder. It's just rare that you meet one of them.
- The tap water in Themiddleoffuckingnowhere SUCKS! ...or so I was warned...
-There's a real prime idiot who drives a white Buick in Minnesota who, thanks to my quick reaction -- at 60 mph, no less -- is not having to breathe with the aid of a machine!
- There is no reason one should not try to see this country up close and at ground level at least once in a lifetime. None.
It looked like the wind in eastern North Dakota was pretty stiff this morning!
Not long after I entered Minnesota, I started feeling lethargic and depressed... and then I discovered why....
Western Minnesota
So I guess this means the trip is pretty much over, unless anyone wants to hear about my niece's wedding. After that it's a 10-hour drive home through the rest of Minnesota, Wisconsin and northern Illinois.
The Road Can Teach You Things
What did I learn on my trip?
- During the recent flooding in Iowa, I heard it said that this country's corn crop was "ruined." That may be true for the riverside farmers in Iowa, but not true of the whole state. There's L O T S of corn out there!
- It's really unfair when, after you leave a place, they go in behind you and change all the stuff you remember. And it's inevitable.
- No matter how hard life is kicking you, it's always kicking someone else harder. It's just rare that you meet one of them.
- The tap water in Themiddleoffuckingnowhere SUCKS! ...or so I was warned...
-There's a real prime idiot who drives a white Buick in Minnesota who, thanks to my quick reaction -- at 60 mph, no less -- is not having to breathe with the aid of a machine!
- There is no reason one should not try to see this country up close and at ground level at least once in a lifetime. None.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Professor's 'Hood
I bid a final farewell to Great Falls on Tuesday morning, after stopping by the Missouri River Diner to sort of make up for making fun of them in my blog...not like they'll ever see it and be offended, unless commenter David shows and tells them (David, don't!) (Side note: As it turns out, the Missouri River Diner moves into a respectable 2nd Place in the rankings for The Best Corned Beef Hash Breakfast In America!)
I headed east out of Great Falls, intended for Themiddleoffuckingnowhere, Montana, for a visit with Professor.
Not quite there... more like Theedgeoffuckingnowhere, with about
a hundred miles left to go.
I arrived in TMOFN around 4:00pm and was greeted with a great big hug by Professor, who then took me on a walking tour of TMOFN. The whole thing took about 10 minutes, including two potty breaks (which reminds me... I'll have to blog about my dime-sized bladder some day). Then we went up to "the café" (which was to become a running theme) where we each dined on one of Montana's many bounties -- a huge, thick slab o' beef! Afterward it was down to the H Bar for drinks and the longest game of pool in the history of people playing with balls.
Wednesday morning we broke fast at the café and then headed further east toward The Marina. About 10 miles down a gravel road we turned off and bounced across a wheat field where Professor's best buddy Wilber was turning up the soil in a big piece of farm equipment. I had only Professor's descriptions of Wilber -- and a couple of photos on her blog -- to go on, and a few mentions by Professor after my arrival that, if I was cause for Professor's slightest doubts or qualms about my staying in her home for a couple of nights, one word to Wilber and I would mysteriously disappear....
But Wilber must have intuited that I'm really a nice guy, and so she kept the pipe wrench in her back pocket. After a few minutes of conversation she proved to be a very warm and kind young lady, and someone I should like to meet again some day. It wasn't until Professor and I were in the car again, bouncing back across the field that I noticed the freshly dug, six-foot long by three-foot wide by six-foot deep hole, mostly obscured by two sagebrush trees....
A nice little visual surprise on the way to the Breaks.
Anyhoo, back onto the gravel road for another 20 miles or so, and we came across another Montana wonder, The Missouri Breaks. The road wound up and down through these natural beauties and it was an effort to keep the car on the road while rubbernecking to see the vistas.
The Missouri Breaks. Every day. But they always fix it over night
in time for the tourists.
We arrived at The Marina, which sits at the edge of The Biggest Freakin' Lake On the Planet Lake, where we picked up lunch for Wilber, who was going to be busy all day out in the fields. We returned to the wheat fields and bounced back across to where she was. I noticed that the hole had been filled in.... We sat on the ground and talked while Wilber ate her lunch. For the first time in my life I was witness to girl-talk. No, I don't mean fourth-grade school playground kind of girl-talk. I mean girl-talk! And you know what I learned? It's the exact same as guy-talk, only some of the words are different...and I will not elaborate! It was a very welcoming feeling that they talked as if I was one of the group. Or...were they talking as if I wasn't there....? Hmmm.
Plans were made to meet later at the H Bar for drinks and dinner, and Professor and I returned to TMOFN for lunch, but at the other place to eat in town...not the café. Afterward we had a nice, long chat about all sorts of stuff, to include the price of tea in china, though why it should be different from the price of tea in a plain old mug, we couldn't come to a conclusion.
Wilber showed up and we three darted down to the H Bar. While there I got a good taste of the local drama that Professor occasionally blogs about. It's such a small town that no one's personal business can escape the scrutiny of the locals, and if your business raises even one eyebrow, the gossip races across the town faster than a phone call!
Thursday morning was time for me to hit the road and make my way toward Minnesota, but not before breakfast at the café with Professor again. She is a very warm, gregarious, funny and smart person. She tends to play the ditz in her blog, but don't be fooled... She is one sharp lady! (And she loves visitors! Drop in on her any time! I'll post her phone number and address at the bottom of this post!) Breakfast finished, and another great big hug from her as we said good-bye, and I was on my way. I have until Friday to get to Minnesota, so I didn't kill myself driving for 14 hours. After a leisurely eight hour drive, I rolled into Jamestown, North Dakota, for the night.
The long and... long! ...road through eastern Montana.
North Dakota didn't turn out to be as flat and featureless as I had
expected... at least not the western parts.
And in case anyone ever tries to stump you with the question,
"What's the capital of North Dakota...."
It's 'N.'
I headed east out of Great Falls, intended for Themiddleoffuckingnowhere, Montana, for a visit with Professor.
Not quite there... more like Theedgeoffuckingnowhere, with about
a hundred miles left to go.
I arrived in TMOFN around 4:00pm and was greeted with a great big hug by Professor, who then took me on a walking tour of TMOFN. The whole thing took about 10 minutes, including two potty breaks (which reminds me... I'll have to blog about my dime-sized bladder some day). Then we went up to "the café" (which was to become a running theme) where we each dined on one of Montana's many bounties -- a huge, thick slab o' beef! Afterward it was down to the H Bar for drinks and the longest game of pool in the history of people playing with balls.
Wednesday morning we broke fast at the café and then headed further east toward The Marina. About 10 miles down a gravel road we turned off and bounced across a wheat field where Professor's best buddy Wilber was turning up the soil in a big piece of farm equipment. I had only Professor's descriptions of Wilber -- and a couple of photos on her blog -- to go on, and a few mentions by Professor after my arrival that, if I was cause for Professor's slightest doubts or qualms about my staying in her home for a couple of nights, one word to Wilber and I would mysteriously disappear....
But Wilber must have intuited that I'm really a nice guy, and so she kept the pipe wrench in her back pocket. After a few minutes of conversation she proved to be a very warm and kind young lady, and someone I should like to meet again some day. It wasn't until Professor and I were in the car again, bouncing back across the field that I noticed the freshly dug, six-foot long by three-foot wide by six-foot deep hole, mostly obscured by two sagebrush trees....
A nice little visual surprise on the way to the Breaks.
Anyhoo, back onto the gravel road for another 20 miles or so, and we came across another Montana wonder, The Missouri Breaks. The road wound up and down through these natural beauties and it was an effort to keep the car on the road while rubbernecking to see the vistas.
The Missouri Breaks. Every day. But they always fix it over night
in time for the tourists.
We arrived at The Marina, which sits at the edge of The Biggest Freakin' Lake On the Planet Lake, where we picked up lunch for Wilber, who was going to be busy all day out in the fields. We returned to the wheat fields and bounced back across to where she was. I noticed that the hole had been filled in.... We sat on the ground and talked while Wilber ate her lunch. For the first time in my life I was witness to girl-talk. No, I don't mean fourth-grade school playground kind of girl-talk. I mean girl-talk! And you know what I learned? It's the exact same as guy-talk, only some of the words are different...and I will not elaborate! It was a very welcoming feeling that they talked as if I was one of the group. Or...were they talking as if I wasn't there....? Hmmm.
Plans were made to meet later at the H Bar for drinks and dinner, and Professor and I returned to TMOFN for lunch, but at the other place to eat in town...not the café. Afterward we had a nice, long chat about all sorts of stuff, to include the price of tea in china, though why it should be different from the price of tea in a plain old mug, we couldn't come to a conclusion.
Wilber showed up and we three darted down to the H Bar. While there I got a good taste of the local drama that Professor occasionally blogs about. It's such a small town that no one's personal business can escape the scrutiny of the locals, and if your business raises even one eyebrow, the gossip races across the town faster than a phone call!
Thursday morning was time for me to hit the road and make my way toward Minnesota, but not before breakfast at the café with Professor again. She is a very warm, gregarious, funny and smart person. She tends to play the ditz in her blog, but don't be fooled... She is one sharp lady! (And she loves visitors! Drop in on her any time! I'll post her phone number and address at the bottom of this post!) Breakfast finished, and another great big hug from her as we said good-bye, and I was on my way. I have until Friday to get to Minnesota, so I didn't kill myself driving for 14 hours. After a leisurely eight hour drive, I rolled into Jamestown, North Dakota, for the night.
The long and... long! ...road through eastern Montana.
North Dakota didn't turn out to be as flat and featureless as I had
expected... at least not the western parts.
And in case anyone ever tries to stump you with the question,
"What's the capital of North Dakota...."
It's 'N.'
Monday, July 14, 2008
One Last Look Back
From May of 1984 until September of 1985, I was stationed here, at Malmstrom Air Force Base, in Great Falls, Montana. When I was there, Malmstrom was part of the Strategic Air Command, and maintained 150 nuclear-tipped Minuteman II and 50 Minuteman III Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles on constant alert, and has done so since 1962. I don't know the name of the Command it's under now, but the missiles are still there.
The LGM-30G "Minuteman III" ICBM. (Malmstrom
AFB Museum)
A mothballed Transporter-Erector, used to carry the missiles to and from
the Launch Facilities, and to remove or install the missiles in the silos.
(Malmstrom AFB Museum)
Granted, they're all underground in hardened facilities. My job when I was here was as part of the security force assigned to protect those facilities and the missiles within them.
One of the tools of my former trade -- the "Peacekeeper," more affection-
ately known as "death on wheels" -- and we meant for the guys inside! It
was basically a Dodge truck (remember Dodge in the 1980s?!) with its
body replaced by a heavy steel shell, with little peepholes to see out of,
and little gun ports to shoot out of. (Malmstrom AFB Museum)
These things were almost impossible to drive safely, what with three-
inch high, bullet "resistant" windows to look out through and standard
pickup truck brakes compromised by the extra weight. We rarely used
them, but when we had to we were pretty much guaranteed that some-
guard from the base would roll at least one a month. The only smart
thing about these atrocities were the tires...they were solid rubber, so
they couldn't be shot out and deflated by marauding civilians.
The basic concept of the Minuteman Missile program was two officers wait in 24-hour shifts in a capsule -- the Missile Control Center -- deep underground far away from the Air Force base for an order to remotely launch any or all of the ten missiles at their disposal, with myriad checks and balances to prevent one or both of them from blowing a gasket and trying an unauthorized launch.
A deactivated Missile Control Center, where the two officers would
spend their 24-hour shift. There's one chair missing in the diorama...
not like one of them had to stand for 24 hours...
The guards (like me) worked three-day, 12-hour shifts, mainly staying in the house -- or the Launch Control Facility (LCF) -- at ground level above the Missile Control Center. On a shift, there was one guard, usually a non-commissioned officer, who manned the radio communications between the base and any crews that might be working at the remote Launch Facilities spread out around the countryside. The other two guards on the shift were always at the ready to respond to alarms at the Launch Facilities, which were usually attributed to small animals walking across the motion-detector zones.
I was assigned to the P flight area, known in military lingo as the "Papa" flight area. After my visit to the museum at Malmstrom Air Force Base, I drove the hour up to my old flight area, around the town of Conrad, Montana. As hard as I tried, I could not shake loose the memory of how we got to the Papa LCF. The only landmark I could remember was that the road had a series of quick curves in it. Not that I could stop in and see the guys, or anything. I just wanted to see the place again, as it was sort of a second home while I was stationed here.
I finally got my bearings and found the access route, down a frontage road beside I-15.
It may not look like much, but this warped little patch of road was im-
printed on my brain 24 years ago, and it's how I found Papa LCF!
The LCF is basically an institutional-feeling house. There are bedrooms for the off-duty airmen, a day-room, a dining area, a kitchen, and the Flight Security Control room. There are six guards, one cook, one Facility Manager, and, down below, the two Missile Control Center officers.
A drive-by "shooting" of Papa LCF. Getting out of the car and blatantly
taking a photograph would have caused a stir. They couldn't do any-
thing to me unless I was on military property...but they could call the
local police. It's difficult to imagine, but there's a capsule 60 feet below
that little yellow house, where two men sit. And wait.
Again, I couldn't remember where any of the remote Launch Facilities were, though I used to know the Papa flight area in the dark with my eyes closed! After driving around for a while, I happened upon one of them -- Papa 7. This is a missile silo. Beneath the protective, 110-ton concrete and steel lid is a nuclear-tipped missile capable of delivering its payload to the opposite side of the planet in 30 minutes.
Papa 7, as seen from the roadside. I used to be good at spotting these
things, but they've changed them slightly and they're
not as recognizable.
A closer view of Papa 7. On the left and center two concrete posts are
visible. These used to support microwave send-receive units affection-
ately known as "banjos," due to their distinctive shape. Those have
been replaced now, apparently by the tall, thin, white shaft that looks
somewhat like a missile itself. But I'm only guessing. Also in this view
is the south face of the launcher lid which, in a launch sequence, would
be shoved off of the silo by a powerful blast of explosives, sending
its 110 tons through the fence and into the field beyond.
In my nostalgic desire for something to remain unchanged and recognizable after 23 years, I was finally satisfied by the town of Conrad. One of my fondest memories of my time in Montana all those years ago was one summer day when my Alarm Response Team leader and I left the LCF and went to the drive-in restaurant in town to get some ice cream treats for the rest of the crew. We pulled up in our dark blue Air Force Ford Bronco, wearing our O.D. green uniforms, and the girl working there was the cutest thing with the freshest face I had ever seen. And she was absolutely giddy with excitement at seeing two handsome airmen ...well, one handsome airman and me... pull into her restaurant. It affected me because I had never had anyone get giddy over me, never mind the fact that she was probably only fifteen at the time.
So it was with high hopes when I glided off of the entrance ramp into Conrad that I would find the drive-in right where I left it in 1985. And, wouldn't you know it...
...right where I left it. Not only that, but I don't think it has changed at all! Except that giddy, fresh-faced girl is no longer there...
I got my chocolate malted milkshake and headed back south for Great Falls, and as I crested the bridge over the interstate, before I turned onto the ramp, I checked the horizon. If I had noticed 23 years ago that you could see Papa LCF from atop the bridge, I certainly don't remember.
It was with a touch of sadness and a tug at my throat that I drove away from Conrad, Montana. I guess one reason why I wanted to drive up there was that I had never "said goodbye" when I left, I was just so eager to be gone. I never stopped to take a look around, to appreciate the surroundings, to assure them a place in my memories. And now I know I'll never come back here again. I've satisfied my wish to return and do just those things. I took a look around. I got a new appreciation for the area. I gave my memories a brief refresher on my time here, something to keep them rattling around in my head for a little while longer. And I said "good-bye."
Parting Shot, Great Falls Style...
Uh....so which is it?
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Ghost of My Youth
When I decided to make this trip, I was excited at the wondering how Great Falls would look 23 years after I left it. I expected it to look different, but I hoped much would have remained the same. Well, the answer is yes. At a glance, little has changed. The Missouri River is right where I left it; the streets are all there; they haven't moved the Air Force base... but that's about it.
The biggest difference is the casinos. Apparently, sometime in the late 1980s or the early 1990s, a state law was passed allowing gambling casinos to operate, and ownership of a casino seems to have consumed the minds of Great Falls' businesspeople! There are casinos everywhere, and in just about every combination business you can imagine...gas station and casino...drugstore and casino...massage parlor and casino...bank and casino (that would be a trick!!)....
In 1985 Great Falls felt to me like a frontier town. It had a restless feel to it, like the town was itching to bust out and DO something. It seemed a little stuck in the past, clinging to ways that the people were comfortable with and in no hurry to change...yet still restless. It would seem to me that the coming of the casinos (and their revenue) unleashed the city's ambition to beautify. And modernize. As far as I can tell, there remain few of the buildings along the main business drag, 10th Ave South, that were there in 1985. That goes for most of the city! The riverfront, which was a beautiful recreational area then, has been improved upon and spiffed up tremendously, with the addition of a bike/hike trail all along the south bank of the river, from one end of the city -- or so it seems -- to the other. At the eastern end, near the Air Force base, there's even now a Lewis and Clark Interpretive Center...whatever the hell that means.
But despite how the city has gained and grown, it has lost its rambunctious innocence. There were truly dangerous areas...river drives right ON the river's edge, with no guard rails; unrestricted access to high cliffs above the falls...with no warning signs about them. The main drag through the center of town had angled parking -- still does -- but back then each stall was fronted by a post with an electrical cord sticking out of it, into which, during the brutally cold winters here, everyone (everyone who was smart, anyhow) plugged their "block heater," an electric coil that was inserted by a professional into the radiator (or oil pan?) to keep the engine fluids warm enough to allow the engine to start after sitting for hours or more. I had one installed -- the plugs were at the front of every parking spot on base, too!
Great Falls seems to have grown up. And, like too many of us, growing up has meant having to shed most of its childishness and recklessness, and made it less exciting. Or maybe it's just MY childishness and recklessness that are gone.
The Great Falls, as they were named by Lewis and Clark upon their discovery, are actually a series of four waterfalls that drop the Missouri River 360 feet over a short stretch. Here are the Black Eagle Falls.
Here is probably the most spectacular of the falls, Rainbow Falls.
Obviously, the river is dammed, so the falls are no longer as spectacular as they used to be. A closer look at Rainbow Falls.
Visible here is the Crooked Falls, downstream from the Rainbow Falls.
There are still some dangerous areas, but
You Have Been Warned! ...maybe I wasn't sup-
posed to go here?
I tried to get fancy here. Any fancier and I fear I would have slid
down to -- and over -- the cliff's edge! What did I say earlier about
losing my childishness and recklessness?
There, in the middle distance, beyond and to the left of the djed tower and not too far from the cliffs, plays the ghost of my youth, in the ghost of my Jeep CJ-5, where I tested my mettle and my metal, power-climbing the seemingly near-vertical "Face" hill, and the other dusty hills now fenced off from access by the gubmint in effort to preserve the natural prairie there.
Of course, there are parts of the city that were there long before I ever was, and that still remain...like this building. I certainly don't recall ever seeing it before. Granted, it's been cleaned up and made into an office building of some sort. It's likely that it was in disrepair in the 1980s, and I ignored it.
Huh?
I tooled around this town for 16 months and never did figure out with any degree of confidence how the streets were labeled. I guess the dead presidents were done to ...uh... death.
The biggest difference is the casinos. Apparently, sometime in the late 1980s or the early 1990s, a state law was passed allowing gambling casinos to operate, and ownership of a casino seems to have consumed the minds of Great Falls' businesspeople! There are casinos everywhere, and in just about every combination business you can imagine...gas station and casino...drugstore and casino...massage parlor and casino...bank and casino (that would be a trick!!)....
In 1985 Great Falls felt to me like a frontier town. It had a restless feel to it, like the town was itching to bust out and DO something. It seemed a little stuck in the past, clinging to ways that the people were comfortable with and in no hurry to change...yet still restless. It would seem to me that the coming of the casinos (and their revenue) unleashed the city's ambition to beautify. And modernize. As far as I can tell, there remain few of the buildings along the main business drag, 10th Ave South, that were there in 1985. That goes for most of the city! The riverfront, which was a beautiful recreational area then, has been improved upon and spiffed up tremendously, with the addition of a bike/hike trail all along the south bank of the river, from one end of the city -- or so it seems -- to the other. At the eastern end, near the Air Force base, there's even now a Lewis and Clark Interpretive Center...whatever the hell that means.
But despite how the city has gained and grown, it has lost its rambunctious innocence. There were truly dangerous areas...river drives right ON the river's edge, with no guard rails; unrestricted access to high cliffs above the falls...with no warning signs about them. The main drag through the center of town had angled parking -- still does -- but back then each stall was fronted by a post with an electrical cord sticking out of it, into which, during the brutally cold winters here, everyone (everyone who was smart, anyhow) plugged their "block heater," an electric coil that was inserted by a professional into the radiator (or oil pan?) to keep the engine fluids warm enough to allow the engine to start after sitting for hours or more. I had one installed -- the plugs were at the front of every parking spot on base, too!
Great Falls seems to have grown up. And, like too many of us, growing up has meant having to shed most of its childishness and recklessness, and made it less exciting. Or maybe it's just MY childishness and recklessness that are gone.
The Great Falls, as they were named by Lewis and Clark upon their discovery, are actually a series of four waterfalls that drop the Missouri River 360 feet over a short stretch. Here are the Black Eagle Falls.
Here is probably the most spectacular of the falls, Rainbow Falls.
Obviously, the river is dammed, so the falls are no longer as spectacular as they used to be. A closer look at Rainbow Falls.
Visible here is the Crooked Falls, downstream from the Rainbow Falls.
There are still some dangerous areas, but
You Have Been Warned! ...maybe I wasn't sup-
posed to go here?
I tried to get fancy here. Any fancier and I fear I would have slid
down to -- and over -- the cliff's edge! What did I say earlier about
losing my childishness and recklessness?
There, in the middle distance, beyond and to the left of the djed tower and not too far from the cliffs, plays the ghost of my youth, in the ghost of my Jeep CJ-5, where I tested my mettle and my metal, power-climbing the seemingly near-vertical "Face" hill, and the other dusty hills now fenced off from access by the gubmint in effort to preserve the natural prairie there.
Of course, there are parts of the city that were there long before I ever was, and that still remain...like this building. I certainly don't recall ever seeing it before. Granted, it's been cleaned up and made into an office building of some sort. It's likely that it was in disrepair in the 1980s, and I ignored it.
Huh?
I tooled around this town for 16 months and never did figure out with any degree of confidence how the streets were labeled. I guess the dead presidents were done to ...uh... death.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
The Long and Winding...and Hilly and Bumpy and Desolate...Road
I continued my extended detour from my drive to Montana by heading south out of Rapid City, South Dakota. Slightly more than 24 years ago I drove from Chicago to Great Falls, Montana, and my first duty station of my brief Air Force career, Malmstrom Air Force Base. On the way I discovered a peculiar quirk I have, which is the tendency to be so focused on getting "there" that I ignore all manner of interesting things along the way...like The Badlands and Mount Rushmore. What's that? 30 miles out of my way on a four-day, thousand mile trip? HELL NO! I ain't stoppin'!
Well, this time I made certain to convince myself that three days in Great Falls won't be any less interesting than four, and so I stopped yesterday in The Badlands, and today at Rush Mountmore (Tee hee! I just found my new porn name!).
This view greets you as you break through the tree-line on your way up.
Just for a sense of scale...
The view as viewed from the point of view of the view point.
Here they are: George, Paul, Ringo and John.
He had an expensive Nikon. I told him it operated just like a Nikon. I
even set it to full auto so he wouldn't have to try to figure anything out.
I assumed he would know how to take a photo. Maybe he had 'Canon envy.'
I hope he enjoys the damn perfect shot of him and his wife I took with his
Nikon! (Click on photo to see that about which I comment.)
And then you get this parting-shot view, just to
make you get out of your car one last time before
you leave the park!
I decided to head to Montana through the northeast corner of Wyoming. I had never driven through that part of the state before, so I thought it would be fun. The drive down from Mount Rushmore was pretty cool, with a lot of hills and switchbacks.
Another pink road. There's gotta be a reason.
I didn't see her. Do you?
Mountains!
Very soon after I entered Montana I passed a crew that was tasked with
T.P.-ing the road for some reason.
Sunset mountain.
Awesome sunset sky! Not bad for a photo taken through a window while
driving at 65 m.p.h. on an otherwise dark road! I may enlarge and
enframe this one!
I seem to have chosen the wrong time of year to travel across the Northern Tier, as when I arrived in Lewistown, Montana, there were no rooms available anywhere. And there were slim pickins when I arrived in Great Falls -- the NAWEOA convention is taking up all the rooms in the damn state! But at least I got the last non-smoking room at the Motel 6, a disability accessible room. Nothing like having those toilet handles handy when the urge hits you sudden-like!
Thanks to ts2bx Mrs. Farrago for letting me borrow her 70-300mm zoom lens for the trip! (Nikon (DSC) close-up images at Mount Rushmore)
Well, this time I made certain to convince myself that three days in Great Falls won't be any less interesting than four, and so I stopped yesterday in The Badlands, and today at Rush Mountmore (Tee hee! I just found my new porn name!).
This view greets you as you break through the tree-line on your way up.
Just for a sense of scale...
The view as viewed from the point of view of the view point.
Here they are: George, Paul, Ringo and John.
He had an expensive Nikon. I told him it operated just like a Nikon. I
even set it to full auto so he wouldn't have to try to figure anything out.
I assumed he would know how to take a photo. Maybe he had 'Canon envy.'
I hope he enjoys the damn perfect shot of him and his wife I took with his
Nikon! (Click on photo to see that about which I comment.)
And then you get this parting-shot view, just to
make you get out of your car one last time before
you leave the park!
I decided to head to Montana through the northeast corner of Wyoming. I had never driven through that part of the state before, so I thought it would be fun. The drive down from Mount Rushmore was pretty cool, with a lot of hills and switchbacks.
Another pink road. There's gotta be a reason.
I didn't see her. Do you?
Mountains!
Very soon after I entered Montana I passed a crew that was tasked with
T.P.-ing the road for some reason.
Sunset mountain.
Awesome sunset sky! Not bad for a photo taken through a window while
driving at 65 m.p.h. on an otherwise dark road! I may enlarge and
enframe this one!
I seem to have chosen the wrong time of year to travel across the Northern Tier, as when I arrived in Lewistown, Montana, there were no rooms available anywhere. And there were slim pickins when I arrived in Great Falls -- the NAWEOA convention is taking up all the rooms in the damn state! But at least I got the last non-smoking room at the Motel 6, a disability accessible room. Nothing like having those toilet handles handy when the urge hits you sudden-like!
Thanks to ts2bx Mrs. Farrago for letting me borrow her 70-300mm zoom lens for the trip! (Nikon (DSC) close-up images at Mount Rushmore)
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